T Minus One Month- Stay Stressed Then Give Up
Resistance is useless. It is happening. And it is happening in precisely one month.
And I’m running out of time to sort out inordinate piles of bureaucratic merde, but by doing things at the last available moment and calling it punctual, I’m actually keeping excellent French time.
I’m reassured by the fact that I received an email from UTM (my soon-to-be host institution) earlier this month, setting a date for our compulsory Erasmus welcome meeting with *almost a whole month’s notice*. The welcome date being a whole week before my arrival date. The email was signed off, “It is hoped that this early message gives you plenty of time to organise your trip.”
And I thought I was laidback.
Laidback but visibly stressed. Last week I woke up in a cold sweat and had to root through my floordrobe to find my handy and all-important Year Abroad Folder (Thankyou Study Abroad team) to check when my passport expires. It turned out (at 2am) that I’ll be nearly thirty by the time it does.
The next minor Year Abroad hiccup came with trying to organise some insurance. The University of York kindly and helpfully provides free insurance to its students and staff. Good news everyone!
Turns out that accessing the file off-campus requires installation of a “VPN” (Virtually (Im)Possible to Navigate, anyone?) a Java update and a piece of your soul. So I promptly gave up and made myself a brew instead. I would therefore like it to be known that should I die or be near-mortally wounded in France, I wish for my body to be thrown in the Mediterranean to avoid flight costs and for there to be a small whip-round so my parents can buy something nice to console themselves with.
I would like to thank my friend Nursie for agreeing to implement this whip-round should this be the case (he seems worryingly keen) and my friend Funny Finny for suggesting “a nice houseplant to remember you by”.
By means of stress-relief, I am therefore embracing Anglo-French culture by drinking my good (French) coffee, out of a (nostalgically British) Keep Calm* mug whilst eating teacakes (decidedly British) and listening to Paris S’Eveille (pretty damn French). And if this is the way my life is to be from now on (once I’ve organised inordinate piles of merde, of course), then I’m pretty damn okay with that.
*Appropriately, this Keep Calm mug is in fact a Stay Stressed Then Give Up one. Which I personally feel is more accurately British.